There’s this idea in life that we must always keep moving forward. No matter what happens and what cards you get dealt, there’s no going back. Everything is based on stages and each time you pass a stage, the door closes behind you and your sole reality is the next stage and the next one after that. If, at any point, you go back to an earlier stage then you are seen as having failed. After all, the forward momentum has been broken and a previous stage is of lesser worth then the one in front of you.
I believe that this idea needs to be challenged and transformed into something a might more inclusive and productive. After all, if one were to define life then it would be more honest to say that it is closer to the form of a circle then to that of a straight line. So what does the straight line paradigm offer, besides a dead end?
Some maintain that in order to have a sense of where you want to go then you have to have a plan on how to get there. If that is in fact true, then the true question becomes where do you want to go?
I have continuously struggled with this question throughout my life and the only clear answer I can live with is that I want to be happy. But what makes us happy? Is it my work, my home, my friends, my family? Is it a combination of all these things and if so, which element affects me more? Can one reduce all our feelings and experiences to one central element that defines us?
I used to believe that it was all about human relationships but over time there have provided me with less and less gratification and my attention turned towards my career. But, when your career is at the center of your life then you have no time for anything else and you become completely unbalanced. If work were a relationship then it would be clear that you should break things off, but the more committed you are to your work, the more you will progress forward and move on to the next stage. Mediocrity and satisfaction with your current status somehow seem to reflect weakness of character and poor skills.
But what if you want to stay in a simple place? What if that place provided you with happiness and stability? Why should it lose it’s worth just because you are no longer moving forward and why should you care if it does or doesn’t, if the ultimate point is for you to be happy?
So how does on break free and look back at all the stages to see which one suited you best? How do you take that step back from the immediacy of life while being weighed down by day-to-day survival issues?
I believe you need to change the rules of the game, to break out of the limitations that a certain stage has put on you, to allow yourself the space to decide without being weighed down by the day-to-day. This requires pausing the ego for just a moment, ignoring everyone around you and listening only to yourself.
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