Being a child is the only time in our lives when we are truly open to the world around us, in the most innocent, non-judgmental way possible. We believe in and are willing to try almost anything, without any sense of possible or impossible. As we get older, experience teaches us that there are boundaries to what we can do and age clarifies the exact location of those boundaries. If we are sufficiently aware of ourselves and our limitations, then these boundaries can both be a benefit and a hindrance.
The setting of personal boundaries is an aspect of survival in the day-to-day. A simple example would be making sure to plan a lunch for work so that you are able to nourish yourself half-way through the workday. The boundary in this case is recognizing that you are not able to continue working without eating and the survival aspect is knowing that not eating would be bad for you.
The thing is, that all those boundaries you set for yourself are totally dependent on context, as are your experiences. The minute you change the rules of the game everything changes and the results are a wholly unexpected. This, is the hidden challenge of moving to another country.
In a new country, where the local culture is completely different from the one you were raised in, your personal boundaries become completely blurred. This can result in one of two responses: defensive/offensive or adjustment. Either response puts you in a position where you can no longer trust yourself and your reactions. All the new stimuli result in new reactions and each new reaction establishes a new sense of boundaries. However, the true rebuilding of those boundaries for the new context takes time, a lot of it. And in the meantime, the damages it can cause are numerous and unforeseen. After all, if you don’t know what your personal boundaries are, how will you know when they’re close to being breached?
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