I have this clear memory of a realization that came to me in my mid-20s… life, is high school. All the insecurities, the hidden rules of behavior, the segregation of the different levels of cool, and the full-blown immaturity (that at the time I credited to stage of development but later learned seemed to be rampant at almost any age).
You can see it anywhere around you. At work there are the gossiping, giggling co-workers or the bully who’s somehow become your boss, in your personal life there’s the person who’s mad at you and you don’t know why, the one who runs over to hit you (figuratively of course) then runs away, there’s the party where everyone’s invited except you, there’s pressure from family and friends to do what they think is best and so on and so forth.
But, the example that I think suites this notion best is the dating game, where no matter our age or level of maturity, we all turn into sniveling, insecure, paranoid teenagers. It’s funny really, if it wasn’t so very very sad at the same time. And the worse part is that all these aspects get almost worse as we get older because we are less honest about feeling them and blind to the effects that they inevitably have on the ways we react. In my experience, if you’re not careful, they can do a very good job of sabotaging something you innocently think is under your control and progressing smoothly.
So when a member of the opposite sex tells you that they like you, or does their best to show it in other less obvious ways, take a step outside of the defensive walls and inhale the simple breath of fresh air, cause guess what, being honest and open is an amazingly effective strategy in and of itself and although it might not seem so, the rules of your old high school halls only have as much power as you give them.
Be brave and stop playing.
Well, I’m sorry for the interminable hiatus, my life for the past few months has been a bit of a rollercoaster ride and despite the previous months that were no less filled, it felt as if over a year’s worth of change had finally come collapsing down around me.
There is no question that making massive life changes while only having your very own self to depend on is an, ummm… shall we say, challenging, experience.
But, worry not, things are all better now and I am actually hopeful that my attempts to balance between a regular life and a blog will turn out to be successful. Who knows? Maybe something even better will come out of it. Guess we’ll have to see how things go…
In the meantime, I will leave you with the following thought: We often face a need or drive in our lives to change things, believing that by doing so we will in some way manage to improve our lot. This may be true, but it is also important to recognize that the path to real change is not an easy one and there is no shame in being happy in the now. Change, for the sake of it, or the ideal of needing to always renew, needs to be tempered with the truth that there is no shame in just being, especially if that unchanging state makes you happy. Because in the end, happiness, well… that is the goal, isn’t it?
 Regardless of circumstance, background or context, we are all following the same path; a path that leads us towards daily meaning. Whether it be building a family or a career, or some other aspect that makes life seem worthwhile, we are all focused on it, we all want it and no matter what happens we cannot afford to lose sight of it.
So how do we find it?
There are all kinds of formulas in life that appear to guarantee meaning. They seem to have been built by people who have successfully trodden down these paths before. Sadly, cookie cutter solutions are rarely effective and a well-trodden path does not guarantee that you will arrive at the same place as those before you.
It is important to recognize that meaning is something extremely personal that may take a lifetime of struggle and growth to feel and achieve. However, as in all things, it is better to achieve honest results versus simplistic patches that just cover up the problems and make them difficult to see and solve. We have a tendency in life to look for the easy way out, the quick fix, the simple solution and no matter how many times we find it, it just doesn’t seem to cut it, so we keep searching, thinking that if we can just manage to find it this next time, then everything will be ok. But what really matters and what most people underestimate is the importance of the journey, the time that it takes to find the solution, the sense of meaning. Without it, the search and the goal, in themselves, lose their own inherent meaning and it all becomes pointless.
So what gives your life meaning?
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